mix-n-match

We bought a house.  Well, we have a contract.  We should be closing early next month, and then we’ll be homeowners.  It’s exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.  As much as I look forward to everything that is to come, I sometimes find myself wishing I could not be an adult for a little while.  I was less edgy as a kid.  I miss that.

Then we find out that Bucket (pictured above in the header) has cancer, and they can’t fix it.  I think the term was “progressive and far advanced.”  My attachment to animals is so much stronger than my attachment to people.  I think it’s a matter of self-preservation: animals tend to not let you down.  People can’t help themselves.  So I’m walking around with a lump of lead where my heart should be, because I know what comes next, and I’m just not ready for that.  Miracles happen, yes.  It seems like holding out hope might be even more devastating.  That’s a risk I have to take.

I wish this semester would end.